GUIDE TO FLIRTING


What is flirting?

Flirting comes from the old French word fleurter, which means “to flower", however the modern definition of the word means playful behaviour intended to arouse sexual interest.

Flirting is about fun, getting to know people and showing them that you are interested in them. It’s about giving compliments, smiling and making people happy. It is a bit of harmless fun that you can take further if you wish to.

Secrets to becoming a great flirt

The secret of becoming a great flirt is to start with yourself.
How well do you know yourself?
The better you know yourself, the easier it is to become a great flirt.
People who are great flirts know who they and are honest and proud about it. They feel good about themselves and make others feel good too.

Top 10 ways to be flirtatious
	Positive surroundings
	Surround yourself with things that make you feel good. This could be pictures, quotes or anything that would motivate you and make you feel good.
	Laughter - A day without laughter is a wasted day
	What makes you laugh? This could be watching TV programmes that make you laugh, reading a book that makes you laugh, spending time with people that make you laugh, etc. Therefore, stock up your humour library and do things that make you laugh
	Positive Thinking
	At the end of each day ask yourself: What are the good things that have happened? This will help you to focus and look at the positive things that happen rather than on negative things.
	Do it the natural way
	An easy way to get five minutes of peace is to just stand somewhere in nature, such as on a small patch of grass. Then let your body relax by slowly breathing in through your nose and out through your mouth. Let all your problems and cares of the day sink out into the earth. Continue this breathing exercise until you achieve peace.
	Learn to dance
	Join a class and learn to dance because research has shown that dancing makes you happy. The mixture of social and physical contact, movement and music all go to boost your happy hormones
	Get connected
	Spend time connecting. This means joining groups, going to exhibitions, conferences and learning to have fun. This will give you a chance to meet and connect with other people, who are all there with a common bond.
	Learn to observe
	When you are out in a group of people, take a moment out to observe what they do and say. Notice the way that they use certain words, move and interact with others. This will sharpen up you senses and give you material to work with.
	Find your style
	Does your external appearance reflect your true style? Wear colours that suit your skin tone and style your hair in a way that flatters your face. Buy and wear clothes that reflect you at your best. Don’t hide, find your real style and show off.
	Give complements
	If people have been useful, helpful or positive. Do you give them compliments or tell them you appreciate it? If not, take time to observe people and make note of what you like about them and let them know you appreciation it.
	Love is in the air
	If you are looking for love, try different avenues to find it. Try dating agencies, ask friends, arrange a party and go out in groups. Try something new, something different and have go.
Using your senses to flirt
In order to flirt with others you need to be able communicate with them as well as pick up small signals people give with their body language. The senses play a big part when it comes to flirting.
	Eyes
	Your eyes are an important tool in flirting because by paying special attention to someone you show them that you are interested in them. How you look at another person, meet his or her gaze and look away can make all the difference. Looking directly into the eyes of another person is a very powerful, emotionally loaded act of communication. Therefore it is normally restricted to very brief glances. Prolonged eye contact between two people indicates intense emotion, and is either an act of love or an act of hostility.
	Sound
	Vocal signals such as tone of voice, pitch, volume, speed of speech can show attraction and interest given off by a person. The sound of a person voice will indicate whether they are interested, uninterested, find you sexy or even discussed by you. A monotone speech, with little variation in pitch, pace or tone of voice, will be perceived as boring and dull. A loud booming tone with much variation in pitch will make you seem overbearing. Speak too quietly or too slowly and you will seem submissive or even depressed. Aim for moderation in volume and tone, with enough variation in pitch and pace to hold your companion's interest.
	Touch
	Touch can be used to convey a variety of messages. Different touches can be used to express agreement, affection, attraction, offer of support, a call for attention or participation, to guide and direct, to greet, to congratulate, to establish or reinforce power-relations and to negotiate levels of intimacy. When flirting, if the language of touch is used correctly it can help to advance the relationship. Women are much less comfortable about being touched by an opposite-sex stranger than men, so men should take care to avoid any touches which may seem threatening or over-familiar. Men are inclined to interpret women's friendly gestures as sexual invitations, so women should be equally careful to avoid giving misleading signals with over-familiar touches.